ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
