i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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