I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
