Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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