He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
