too bad you live with your parents still
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
