operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
