He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
