You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize