i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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