I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
