maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
