Slut skills are useful in every country.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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