Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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