He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
