it was like his penis was on wheels.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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