ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
