I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
