The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
