Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
