Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
