I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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