i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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