Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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