my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
