do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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