capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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