Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
