ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
