dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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