some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
