Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
