Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
