gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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