Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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