Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
