just come out here and I will go home with you...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
