I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding