Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
