Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...