Do vagina's smell?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.