so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner