Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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