Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
