we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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