Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
