The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
