it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
