apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
