You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
