I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
