yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
