sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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