a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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