some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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