I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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