Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
