I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
