Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
