Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
