So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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