JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
