fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
