Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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