I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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