No stitches, just platelets and will power
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
